Sunday January, 14 2007 1:11am

It is obvious that I am a Romance Junkie and that I need attention in that, "some me that you missed me in the simplest and sweet way" and the occasional surprise sort of way. I don't need the countless roses and the showers of jewelry. I want to hear his voice, more than during the worst times. It has been icy here for two days now, since it is impossible to be curled up next to his warm body a long phone conversation would have been nice. Even when he was home for Christmas I felt a little negecticed. Unfortunantly I waited a week to say something and when I did, I overreacted that he didn't fix it right away. Tears were shed. Maybe I am overreacting now. zawj qumaash ana yaqool laa, aw huwa' taghyeer. The previous statement is not grammaticaly correct, but it was only for me anyways. The phone calls where he is talking to everyone eles. I wrote a letter inspired by Steffan that I have displayed at the Gift Shop at work.

Dearest Love,

This is hour that has doth seperated our hands has now grown exponentially. Alas, these hundreds of thousands of miles cannot seperate our love for it is true. My fears be fulfilled of promises unfulfilled and of the vast pool which ripples speak, "unknown". You have asked me to decide our fate, but dost thou not know how cruel fate can be and that my greatest fear is never holding thee in my arms again.

Speak once more of truest feelings and vows for 'morrows evermore. Let's sweet words echo to the stars so that they, distant angels, may shine brightly upon us. Bid me adieu till no miles exsists between our hearts.

~ Your Heart

So yeah, I wrote that and now, over these past few weeks, I am full of fear again. Fear of our friendship not being strong enough to withstand this growing distance and years before we can actually be dating. If only I knew the answer to all of this junk. I don't want to be "smoothering" nor do I want to feel neglected.

Enough of the whinning, it's not going to help the solution, but I feel a little better (not).